The Cost of Perfection

When you love someone, you tend to overlook their quirks or other unbecoming behavior. Believe me, I’ve lived through many family inquisitions with them wondering how I could not see the flaws of what I considered my then perfect boyfriend (s).

And when it comes to our beloved dogs, many of us are undeterred by their silly antics, even when outsiders cannot understand how we live with their behavior, that is until that behavior inconveniences us!  Suddenly the perversions of the pet-guardian to resolve what they see as unacceptable behavior flies in the face of how we’d expect them to be treating their perfect companions.

And yes, now I will digress…

We treated our first family dog like she was a person. I know that was probably not typical, however, we took her on vacations, she sat at the kitchen table when my mom, for example, was talking on the phone or when my Aunt Rose, who hated dogs, came for a visit. This dog seemed to know how to irritate Rose and that was good, because I’m sure she would have extended her stay, if not for the dog!

Our dog slept in our beds, was was fed regular dog food with table scraps, and although she was not formally trained, that didn’t matter because my parents  were somewhat proactive, so they walked her on a leash to prevent her from getting hit by a car, and watched over her from the kitchen window as she sunbathed, tethered to a tree to make sure no one bothered her. We were instructed not to touch her while she was eating or gnawing on a bone, and even my parents knew better than to hit her using their hands because that would make her fearful of us.  I suppose 1960’s TV shows like Lassie and Mr. Ed with their human-like qualities shaped how many dog-owning families related to their companion animals back then. 

So here I sit some fifty years later with a career helping dogs by working with their humans.  We have more information about dogs now then we have ever had, and it is available at the warp speed of a click on a link, and yet I see that some humans have regressed profoundly to the point of being so myopic that regardless of how they profess love for their dogs, they have no qualms about using the most aversive methods to “hammer” perfection into their dog at any cost.

Over the years, I have visited clients in their homes where I witnessed some very concerning behaviors, which were not from the dogs, but rather from the “dog lovers”

One such client called me to “fix” the problem of the dog jumping the backyard fence, however, once I arrived, it wasn’t just the dog trying to escape, but also playing too rambunctiously with a ball, dog using the picnic table as a place to sun herself, additionally, when indoors, bolting out of the front door when someone opened it. When I asked what she had done so far to deal with the issue, she said that she called an invisible fence company who lined the backyard with electric wires which meant anytime the dog got close to the fence, or tried to retrieve her ball, she got shocked. The owner also  had the technician install the electric posts indoors around the house to prevent the dog from bolting out of the door and from entering some rooms that were off limits to the dog. The only thing I was wondering was why she didn’t have the company put a wire around the picnic table, since that was the only place the dog found any enjoyment and safety!

While this was an extreme example, it still represents many clients who have used shock and other aversive methods to “fix” a problem so that they could coexist in their perfect environment.

This cognitive dissonance is responsible for some of the most shocking, pun intended, behavior from “dog lovers” who insist on perfection, and therefore think that the dog is something to be fixed like an appliance and when all else fails, the dog ends up in the trash just like other objects that are no longer working properly, so to speak.

The cost of perfection is actually a robot dog which sells for around $25.00 on Amazon and it comes with a remote control!

Unfortunately these humans will never understand that the cost of perfection is the dog’s wellbeing, and if they weren’t so disconnected, they might see that on some level they erode what’s left of their humanity…

On the lighter side of this dismal commentary, I remind myself of the clients, friends and acquaintances who love their dogs beyond measure and accept them with all their flaws, much like the ways our dogs see and still love us!

HAPPY TRAINING & ENRICHMENT

© Fran Berry CPDT-KA, UW-AAB all rights reserved 2025